Recently I have been living my life in a cyclone. So much has been happening (nearly getting married, not getting married, my grand-father dying, separating, house stuff, finding my daughter schools etc etc) I can’t find myself. And I don’t mean in the Buddhist oh man you’ve been doing some serious mediation way, I mean I can’t find myself because I am so discombobulated from the natural whir of things, I am just hanging on. So the question is, if I am indeed to live these questions as Rilke suggested to his young poet friend, where do I go, what do I do, how do I restore the life juice when it’s ebbing low and some place inside me is nudging me, okay all out hollering at me: “laaaaaaddddddyyyyy calm down, slow down you ain’t gonna be able to do it all. Go get juicy in the meantime… that’s going to make the difference to it all…”
So here goes me #throwingthenetopen on what helps revitalize me and calm me down…
Dancing… Nature…. Being naked! Preferably in nature! Sleep! (I miss you – come back!) Yoga (will you ever be a part of my life again?) Meditation (recently I have been so distracted I have been checking my phone during my meditation to find out how long I have left – eek!), delicious soulful food, (yum!) butter smeared in big dollops on gluten infested bread! Laughter, being with friends and talking with each other in a way that you can share everything that is going on without the need for an edit… Making love, slurping mango from the mango stone, smashing a coconut, drinking straight from the coconut, hanging out with animals – horses, dogs especially – and my daughter. Having time to play with her. Birdsong! Reading, wonderful wonderful words, in fact even smelling a good book, yes a good book sniff – exquisite! Walking, the country! Devon!, Italy! Greece! Swimming naked in the sea – with company! Looking up at the stars, singing with Eve, singing alone, singing with friends, listening to someone share their truths and feeling my heart and solar plexus respond – YES!!
Walking barefoot atop the grass, walking in the woods with Bongo and Piglet, or anyone who wants to come and take it real slow, leaning against a tree, getting up early and seeing the sunrise, sitting by a camp fire, cold and huddled close with others, howling with Bongo and my family and my daughter and friends, smelling smoking timbers and horse manure! Being outside in the rain and wanting to be there, pulling vegetables from the ground, hugging, kissing, being kissed! Being hugged! (Wow even writing this is kinda like living it. Inter-resting…) Sun On Skin. Drinking chai in clay cups in India on the road side, drinking black coffee in Cambodia, drinking beer from the bottle in Guatemala, having my arm stroked as I did when I was a child (more please!), Booja Booja raw cacao ice cream, massages…hmmmm, reflexology, (yummy), travel, adventure, chance encounters, being awed by something rare and beautiful – a church, a wood, a clearing, or something someone has said, that yes moment reminding me that there is something greater at play in the world that my version of it – being touched by that look of looking into someone’s eyes and them looking into your eyes and your heart singing. Painting, rolling around with my daughter, watching her play with friends, hanging out with horses – in particular two mares and their foals who Eve and I go to visit occasionally. Biking around London on a beautiful day….hang on it’s a beautiful day… I’m in London… my bike is beside me, I’m picking up my daughter and Carla her nanny in 45mins… now’s my chance… will I take it, or use it to plough through the to do list and thus loose a life juice boosting moment?!