My mother always used to urge me to trust my intuition (inner tutor). “The more you listen to it,” she would say, “the stronger it’ll get.” This weeks post is about a little moment I threw the net open and followed something that was so tempting to brush aside ‘as nothing.’ Because sometimes nothing just feels like it could be something, reminding me that little things can be big things and those oh why does this have to happen to me moments, can actually be precious gifts that take us to where we need to be. This is my latest post.
Last week I was sitting down and meditating and a thought comes to get on my bike and head to this yoga studio about a 15min ride away. When the 20 minute sit comes to an end, I think that’s a pretty random thing, why not trust it? So I got on my bike and headed over and well it was cold and I wasn’t paying so much attention to my breath, so when I arrived my asthma was in full blow.
When you have asthma – at least this is the way for me – hot rooms during an attack are a nightmare. So when I walked into the entrance of the studio I knew I wouldn’t be able to speak properly to order a tea at the cafe there, so I headed to the loo so I could do the Buteyko Method which is a technique that helps me overcome attacks without the use of an inhaler. I take off my jacket and jumper because when you have an attack you just don’t want anything around your chest and I look in the mirror and watch the way the wheeze sucks in the skin, as if someone were on the other side, sucking with all their might to pull the skin towards the back of my neck and the thought comes: how long is it going to take me to get over this one? Because I don’t recollect ever seeing this part of my body so affected by not being able to breathe. I had forgotten to bring my inhaler with me, which is pretty silly, because well there’s a fine line in trusting in my body’s ability to calm down and breathe normally again and then well things not working out. You see not being able to breathe, well it’s been a bit of a struggle in my family.
So I head outside in my socks to sit in the cold air which is as fresh as London air can be. And very quickly the breathing normalizes after a couple more attempts at the Buteyko Method and some internal conversation that goes a bit like this: “I will be able to breathe, I will be able to breathe’ and then I get up and go and get my shoes from inside the studio and walk around the corner to get a tea and do some emails some place a little bit cooler.
Later, as I am paying I look out at the door and see a lady I’ve been wanting to reach out to but felt awkward about: would she want to see me or rather I didn’t get in touch? Sarah is an ex of my brother and a warm-hearted lady whose presence in my family was sweet and appreciated. I miss her.
So I felt so happy to see her and we got to chat for 15minutes and she shared a tibbit that is directly relevant to my life right now, that if you are looking to address something with someone close to you “make a request” instead of criticising. Which might sound kind of obvious but I’m one of those folk who finds it tremendously awkward to raise a vulnerable point with a friend. And so I put it off and yes the off-shoot of that is that the unexpressed thing mutates so I get all internally critical instead. Which sucks – for everybody! And #throwingthenetopen on my communication skills is something that I am addressing at the moment, so I typed it down this piece of wisdom on my phone, least I forget.
And well life it seems likes making use of things, so only some 10 minutes later I was able to put it into practice during a phone call with a friend as we cleared the air about something, which in turn lead to me making a request and asking her to be a part of something that I have put on the back-burner for a while but now it looks like the time is right for me to start putting it into action: an advisory board for Throwing The Net Open to help me grow this little thing – into whatever it will turn out to be. None of which would have happened had I poo poohed that piece of information that said head over there. Likewise even the asthma attack had its place. For if I hadn’t been wheezing and struggling to breathe, I would have stayed in the over-heated sudio for a juice or tea and then headed home, probably wondering hmmm why do I feel like I’ve missed something?
So there it is, a chance encounter with an old friend, a piece of advice about communication which I then used when speaking to someone dear to me which lead to me getting in touch with some friends and asking for their support with Throwing The Net Open.
So here’s to #throwingtheneopen everywhere and anywhere and in doing so trusting that we’re heading to the place that we’re meant to be. Because phwroah it may be tough, but maybe, just maybe it’s worth it…
PS – I would love to hear about any of your #throwingthenetopen moments that are happening in your world in the comments below. And if you feel to, please share this with friends and family you think may enjoy.