"May my mind come alive today to the invisible geography that invites me to new frontiers, to break the dead shell of yesterdays, to risk being disturbed and changed. May I have the courage today to live the life that I would love, to postpone my dream no longer but do at last what I came here for and waste my heart on fear no more." John O`Donahue
There are those of us who are connected to our bodies and those of us who are not. If you, like me, are one of the ones who have to fight to be in our bodies, then this latest story is for you. Because life is precious and the more we drift and spiral out to join the cosmos, the more we miss of the moments happening now.
And now is where it's really happening... This is my latest story:
In 2009 I made two trips to Cambodia to establish a pilot project for a London based foundation. After a month of criss-crossing across the country, I met with Nharn Nhov the director of a Cambodian NGO, Ockenden. Nharn took me to see a community that they were working with who lived in one of the most remote areas of one of the most remote regions in Cambodia: Rattankiri. This would be the community we would end up working with.
When I returned a couple months later a family friend, came along with me. The day we spent with the community was one of the most rewarding and joyful of my life. Namely because as a result of that day and of the people we met my body rippled and pulsed with life. Spirit and body came together and it felt good...
Rattankiri is famous for its red earth, earth that by the end of a day spent hauling logs on our backs (Tip: never wear a pink t-shirt when moving wood. See picture for why...) was fastooned onto the nucleus of our skin cells - and my body sung hallelujah.
Later as we drove back Robin and I sat on the back of the truck, dark rain clouds forming above us. A little way away from the village we stopped to buy some pineapple from a lady walking down the dirt road towards us. Nharn who was driving encouraged us to come in the truck: rain was coming. No it’s okay, we said, we’ll stay here. So we sat there ripping into the pineapples, pineapples that make my mouth water as I write about them because I have never before nor since eaten such pineapples - the juice! Juice that poured over our teeth and lips and chins and down onto our mud blushed clothes so that mud and dirt mingled and we sat on the back of the truck as the rain poured over us grinning and smiling; no words needed. Our bodies roaring with delight.
To really show up and be here in our lives: this is an extraordinary accomplishment and one we don’t often allow ourselves to appreciate. Humans experience a variety of experiences, most of which when they happen we have no way of making sense of or being prepared for. Gertrude Stein reminded us that a rose is a rose is a rose, but a human is so rarely just a human. And in order to embody what it is that makes us human we have to engage with ourselves in a far meatier way then simply sitting down to meditate. Because a human is a human is a human, but wow is the journey inside.
For a long time I have confused the longing for community and nature as ends in themselves, but maybe they are simply fingers pointing at the moon, fingers I need to follow in order to be able to step into and embody my body.
For a long time I have confused the longing for community and nature as ends in themselves, but maybe they are simply fingers pointing at the moon, fingers I need to follow in order to be able to step into and embody my body. Which is significant because when we do come into our bodies the experience of being human really comes home to us. So that when we are with our children we can truly be with them, instead of zooming through their childhood, like we zoomed through most of our lives. To see a sunset, to hear a bird and feel that part of you respond. But as well as this, to come closer to what is most meaningful for you so that you can move towards it.
A carrot forever dangling.
LFraser is sprouting! Please share this with your friends & family to help this blog bloom.
If you enjoyed this you may also enjoy this pineapple inspired short story: The Girl Who Forgot Her Name
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*Unfortunately no fresh pineapples can be sent as a thank you.