There's nothing like thinking you're the only one, only to have this wonderful thought quickly rebuffed.
"You drive me mad." I say to boyfriend.
"You drive me madder." He replies.
But the thing is, as far as life and the people in it are teaching me, when we struggle with something in another, we're really struggling with what it reminds us of what we've repressed in ourselves.
In other words, the part in me that is being driven mad by boyfriend, could just be a messenger wanting to tell me something, but my ego is a bit worried an’ all, so instead of welcoming it in and making it a cup of tea saying, well then: tell me ALL. It’s sort of hissing at it:
Go…I'm fine, just as I am. Don't need no changing!
And then it does this sort of mad merry dance:
I am what I am! It declares. And I’ll stay as I stay! Feeling very pleased with itself that it’s sent away whatever it felt threatened by.
The only thing about that, is that it’s a very lonely place to be… Read More
When my daughter was born I was fascinated to see for myself if it was true: are babies love? But as I sat with and watched and observed Little Human I felt her to be something else and it was very different to the feelings that I had come to think of as love. This is my latest post.
In 2010 I went to India to meditate and whilst there I met a man who became a friend and who I really enjoyed chatting with him about meditation and life and so on. And I remember on one walk he said Laura what is thing love you talk about. And I was kind of stumped because it became immediately obvious in the way I answered him that I had absolutely no idea. Love is… everything? Read More
Fill in the next 8 years with a lot of yoga, a bit of dancing here, a bit of dancing there, some travel and one striptease lesson and my body & my mind were relaxing a little. So that that tenacious hold on my clothes, started to get a little looser. Read More
Some Friday evenings, I'll cook, i'll move around the house and the next day make breakfast and juices and the kitchen becomes a mess and I don’t make the bed and clothes are on the floor and I don’t tidy a thing. The house looks extraordinarily dishevelled.
It’s really quite delightful. Read More
I often wonder how in the lack of a life lived as a community, we as women are asking of men roles traditionally filled by other women? We expect our men to listen to us, emote with and often parent as we parent: "No! do it like this!" Read More