When Eve was about 6 months old, we trooped along to a Babies Know workshop. They're an awesome team, who care deeply about the well-being of the child and the parents and one of their many wonderful suggestions was to introduce a 'pause' into your family dynamics. After the work-shop Ben and I looked at one another and said wow that pause thing sounds like a good idea, lets use it. And then we completely forgot about it.
Until recently… And it's not just us but Eve has caught on and she used it for the first time the other day and my whole heart leapt, because parenting can be friction' hard, and you sometimes slip into the great worrier spirit which can be darn hell hard to extradite yourself from and well when you see your child using something they have seen you do that is of benefit to them, something in your nerves system goes oh thank god. Because in the sweep and swoop of the way I live my life, a lot of the time, sometimes things just aren't given the space to happen. Or if I get a bit more specific, sometimes the people in my life, aren't given the space to let me know where they really are, most of all my daughter.
And then sometimes we get gifted these moments, that invite us to entertain the possibility that in the end... everything always works out. Just like this monkey dude reminds me:
So we have been using it a lot this week. This pause button which we've suddenly all started using. We use it at bedtime when Eve's struggling to fall asleep, when we're outside running around, or when teeth-brushing slips into a power game. "Pause," one of us will say and in that pause something happens, calms, a shift unfolds and the agreement is that whoever calls it, also decides when the pause is over and then on we go, or maybe the pause results in a stopping, a moment of surrender: to feel not do. To be, not try.
"The only position from which you can never fall is the awakened state." - Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche
So this week I am taking a pause. Because I have been writing about this and that, which was the intention: to ‘throw the net open.’ But now it's autumn: it’s time to harvest what was sown in the Springtime.
Throwing The Net Open went live on Easter Sunday (remember Sid anyone?) and this initial process has been about just writing without a clear defined focus of what I was writing but more about learning to trust the act of writing itself and now well something is ready to come into fruition and so I am taking a little pause this week to further clarify so this post isn't much of a story, more an elongated status update.
In the meantime...
On Sunday 21st September this blog is going to be introducing some new elements - including a bit more clarity around the themes of the writing, why would you be reading this blog? What can it bring to your life?
Next week also heralds a new strand of the blog as I throw the net open to look at some of the stories of the folk who make up the community where I live here in Kilburn, in little London town.
So… have a good Sunday. And if you find yourself remembering the pause thing, try it...
In the meantime I’m hanging out with my daughter and an old friend at her family home in the country that I last visited a decade ago. We've been leaving food for fairies, eating fish pellets intended for the koi carp and exploring mummy is a climbing frame. Red wine, the kind that invokes good stories has featured, as has some seriously creative food from the cooking book of Hemsley & Hemsley. And right now the sun is hazing through the clouds and my daughter is taking her own pause, sleeping...
'See' you next Sunday,